I had my last drink of alcohol on August 17, 2011. Tomorrow I will be one year sober. This is not the first time.
I first stopped drinking in July of 2008. I didn’t really want to be sober. I was resentful of my alcoholic husband who continued drinking. I was unhappy in my marriage. I wanted out. I was hopeless and depressed. On my one year anniversary I attempted suicide. I was dry, but I was far from sober. What a difference this last year!
During this second year of sobriety I have wanted to stay sober. I want to recover. I have had moments of absolute joy. I have had moments of great pain. I have come to understand the concept of “This too shall pass”.
If I feel that urge to drink coming up, as it does from time to time, I talk about it. I call my sponsor. I get to a meeting. I get down on my knees. I act as if my life depends upon it, because it does. As long as I don’t drink, I will eventually create the life I want for myself. To drink is to slip back into depression and I don’t know that I have what it takes to recover from those depths again.
God willing, at this time next year I will be celebrating two years of continous sobriety and happy recovery.